The Art of Losing

Music moves me. Sometimes, when I can't find the words to express my feelings (my family will say that's never!), music can say it for me. Hillsong United has put out some great worship music, and tonight at band practice we sang what I'm feeling:

"From the Inside Out"

"A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again, still, I'm caught in Your grace.
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades.
Neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise.
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades.
Neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

In my heart, in my soul, Lord, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and [grace] become my embrace
To love You from the inside out."

This song was for me tonight because I've been struggling all day with "the art of losing myself in bringing [Him] praise...".
Just when I think I'm doing okay, I feel misunderstood, mistreated or misrepresented, then I want to fight back, defend myself or just sit in the corner and cry. But, I know God is teaching me things I can only learn through loss - then I can see the colors created by the art of pain.

A moment ago, my son sat in his dad's arms and cried over his own loss of friends. My agony at the sight of father and son crying together reminds me of how much more the heart of God breaks in our sorrow. He sees and hears - we must remember this always..."Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades. Neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame. And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise, from the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out...".