In honor of my upcoming 100th blog, Blonde Antithesis is undergoing a face-lift (a very blonde thing to do, no?).
You can find the new site at www.angiebledsoe.wordpress.com
I hope you all make the move since this will be my final entry at this site. See you on the other side.
Peace.
So, I have just a few minutes before I get in the car for an hour and a half...at least. Thank goodness for the DVD player! I'm looking forward to the holidays because I love the sound of Christmas movies. "A Christmas Story" and "Home Alone", they're just more fun to listen to...plus, I just love the holidays anyway. I have a tendency to romanticize them and build them up in my mind (kind of like the dad in "Christmas Vacation").
But, for now, it's "Star Wars"...or any superhero type movie. Most of them I've never actually seen, but they sound okay...
The morning after Thanksgiving, "it's on", though. Only Christmas stuff will be played in my car: Christmas carols, Manheim Steamroller, Christmas movies...etc. I might even wear a Santa hat!
Gotta run! The superheroes are calling me...
Peace.
…all you U. S. Americans out there and the other people like in South Africa and The Iraqs and such as…!
The upside of this interview:
*She’s absolutely adorable.
*She has just shown herself to be qualified to host a morning news show on any of the Big Three major networks (or the evening news, for that matter!)
*The panelist asking the question was also blonde and seemed reasonably articulate.
*Mario Lopez understood every word she said…and such as.
*My daughter Ashley is a native of South Carolina and also a blonde, yet CAN locate a map, find the U.S., and…well…SPELL the word “map”.
*Immediately following this question, Miss Teen S.C. was awarded “Miss Congeniality” for her heartfelt compassion for all those poor U.S. Americans out there who don’t own maps (she then spearheaded a campaign to raise a gazillion dollars to buy South Africans and the Iraqs maps…and such as).
*Umm….She’s….adorable.
I’m not throwing stones…just looking for the bright side. Happy Wednesday…and such as! Peace out.
Byron and I have had a lot of discussions, lately, about rest, boundaries, and protecting/insulating ourselves and family from the stresses of the world as much as possible. My current issues with my nervous system have definitely factored in to these conversations. Avoiding extreme stress has become a necessity, not just for me, but for all of us in the Bledsoe household. It has been a wake-up-call for us, in that, no matter how strong you think you are or how ready you feel for the fight, your body can say, "No more!", and then you are forced to take inventory of your priorities.
Of course, God knows that we must set aside time for true rest in order to even worship properly. This presents some obvious difficulties for the household of a pastor because the Sabbath is, inherently, a "work day". So, traditionally, minister's families just suck it up and do without respite - and not even God can convince them that you can't work yourself into worship...as if to say that what God has required for us to function at our best, and honor Him with our efforts - a day of rest - is not necessary for the leaders. There's a piety in living like the world will stop revolving if I ("Super Pastor/Pastor's Wife") don't work for the kingdom 24/7. How many pastor's families secretly know that they come AFTER the calling?
So, Byron and I are looking at and praying about finding a way to observe Sabbath before, and therefore leading into, Sunday. We haven't figured it out yet, but we do know that it's going to take a lot of planning ahead if Saturday, for instance, will be our day of rest (especially since that's the day when all of the "running" has to be done - and especially since I'm a huge procrastinator). But, we know we need to at least entertain the idea of setting aside a "Day of Rest", so that we can be prepared to worship and work on Sunday. Also, Saturday seems like a natural choice because the Enemy, without fail, throws his biggest arrows on Saturdays - So, intentional insulation will make us even more productive in our work.
Who knows us better than our Creator, so who can have a better plan than He does. Sometimes - a lot of the time - we just come up with excuses for why we're the exception.
So, we're on a journey to discover how to fulfill our calling and how to find our Sabbath at the same time. It's an interesting journey. I'll do my best to chronicle our discoveries along the way.
I hope you all find some rest in Him today. Peace.
Since I'm still suffering from my nerve "situation", I decided to post a blog I wrote several days ago, and just saved for a rainy day. Although I discuss how my blogging boundaries came more slowly than those in other areas of my life, it's important for me to set the record straight about some particularly obnoxious blogs that are floating around out there - these blogs I have never read...or even laid eyes on. I don't look at porn, and I don't read trash - This has become a point of conviction for me. Peace out.
Today, like most days at some point, I spent some time reading the blogs "bookmarked" on my "toolbar" (if you don't use a Mac these terms might not mean the same thing - but you get the drift) - it's somewhat of a ritual for me, I guess, and if you were to read the blogs I read you would pick up on a theme: they are all positive and uplifting and many times challenging to me in my faith, family and church-life. There must be some positive value for me.
It's not always been that way for me, sadly. Out of curiosity, obligation, or even a desire to be entertained by ridiculousness (not sure that's a word), I've subjected myself to a lot of junk (that's putting it nicely in, most cases) that has done nothing to edify me or refine my walk. Blog site boundaries are a discipline that have been developed out of necessity.
I had already limited my exposure to negativity in my relationships, phone conversations, parties I attend, even in just "hanging out" with a bunch of ladies (this can go negative so fast it can make your head spin) - But in the area of the Internet, these boundaries can be more easily rationalized away.
These "rationalizations" can sound something like this:
*I would rather know first-hand if someone's talking trash - or their friends are, so I can KNOW!
*I deserve to read it myself...everyone else seems to know the scoop.
*I need to prove that stupid lies and innuendo from carnal people don't hurt me - I CAN TAKE IT!
*Their words don't really offend me...it's just entertainment!
*I need to know what they're saying so that I can look spiritual as I forgive them (a vicious cycle, by the way).
*Whatever other rationalizations I've used that I can't remember right now.
Today, though, I guard myself (and my family), vigilantly. It's an issue of obedience for me now. Whatever I tell myself to make it easy to read stuff that I know, or even suspect, won't be beneficial to me, doesn't outweigh my responsibility to be disciplined with the words that I allow to come into my life.
I need to be considerate of the fact that even though it doesn't hurt, it may not help. My knowledge of other's critiques or "issues" may not be helpful to those around me. Because of this, I've even had to be careful about what "friendly" blogs I allow myself to read. Not everyone limit's their exposure as much as Byron and I do, so their lack of boundaries can become ours, as well.
This may sound rigid or ridiculous, but these lessons come out of experience. For me, knowingly reading trash is just plain stupid.
So, if you hear the latest tidbit from some blog site, please don't tell me the web address. I don't care, and I don't want to know. Bondage to trying to mend fences with people who stir dissension is just that: BONDAGE! And it's a luxury that I can't afford - distraction from my true purpose is a price that's too high.
We can either chase after the opinions of men, or Christ. We can't fully do both. At least that's not my calling.
I love the beautiful blogs on my toolbar, and plan to keep it that way.
Peace.
I woke up with a severe pinched nerve in my neck.
I couldn't raise my head off the pillow.
I couldn't go to C3.
I can't really type since I can't hold my head up.
I have a lot of thoughts running around in my head, but it hurts too bad to type them.
So, I'll blog more when I can. I'm having withdrawals from blogging. But, at least I don't have to work out or jog today.
I heard this morning was awesome...I'm so sad I missed it.
I have to be better by tomorrow morning.
I think the Advil bottle shouldn't have such a wimpy dosage limit.
I need to dust the ceiling fan.
My bedroom decor could use an animal print...probably leopard.
Sonny's banana pudding should be listed as an addictive controlled substance.
If I were on the show "Making the Band" and I had to jog five miles to be chosen...oh well!!!!
Peace out for now.
The Bledsoe Family has successfully navigated the first week of school. Here are some highlights:
*The sunrise, from the 417, is beautiful when viewed through polarized sunglasses.
*My six year old can guilt me into buying him fast-food junk because I feel bad that he has to spend so much time in the car every afternoon.
*"Mr Big Truck" didn't speed obnoxiously by me in carline again - maybe he's changed his ways...we'll see!
*Nate knows how to deal with a bully...(must be passed down from father to son).
*Apparently, Kayleigh and Ashley aren't "jiggy" with Trapper/Keeper notebooks - they're not "the bomb"...as if! And I was so thinking they were "totally rad".
*High school girls think it's so cute when Kayleigh and Ashley's dad makes their lunch! What am I, chopped liver?!!
*Sleeping-in on Saturday is glorious - unless you think it's Friday and you've over-slept!!! BTW, if it had been a week day, we'd all be in trouble because I'm not moving fast early in the a.m. EVEN IF I'M ON FIRE!
*How come "waiting in carline by myself time" seems like an eternity, and "having sushi with the Leathers (and Byron) time" flies by?
*Now that I'm carpooling WITH MYSELF, I miss taking other people's kids home from school - I didn't know that I would miss that...but Amanda says I can pick up "my best friend, Emma" from kindergarten sometimes! Woo!! (Right now I'm throwing up my hands like the wife in Talladega Nights - just so you can get the total mental pic).
*In High School Musical Two, when Gabriella sings to Troy that she has to "go her own way" and he sings back "but what about us?", I cry just a little bit (just a single tear rolls down...) - and btw, who names their daughter "Sharpay"? Don't they know that's a wrinkly dog...BUT I DIGRESS!
*So, the kids had an easier time adjusting to school than I did, but overall it was a good week...what I remember of it after being jacked-up on way to much espresso.
*Tomorrow's gonna be "Crazy" great!
Peace out.
Happy Wednesday! (At least it is now) - The boys get out of school early on Wednesdays, so we decided to bring them to "Cuppy's" (My favorite coffee shop, on Lee Vista). So, hangin' with my boys and drinking a caramel latte (and free wifi)...it just doesn't get any better than this!
We had lunch with Vinny and Valerie, an awesome couple with a passion for God that's contagious. They are definitely "so C3"!
I've been reading "Stand Against the Wind" by Erwin McManus - he's one of my favorite authors - and this quote spoke to me, "Our capacity to run free is related to our commitment to stand firm."
It may seem odd that he would correlate commitment with freedom. Those two seem contrary, but, in reality, you are only as free as you are committed. You are only as strong as your willingness to lay aside anything that hinders you in the race. Freedom comes after the sacrifice, when there's nothing left to lose.
McManus asks the question, "How often have we surrendered our freedoms under the weight of our fears?" That's something to ponder. Fear is bondage, and bondage is the death of hope.
So, today, I desire to run free and fearless - with nothing left to lose, and everything to gain.
Happy Wednesday!
Peace.
Thanks to everyone who made yesterday so special.
Even though there was a ton going on with the start of the school year, the blogs, phone calls, emails and gifts are greatly appreciated. I especially have appreciated the prayers and support throughout this last year.
Yesterday was a long "marathon" of a day - I did get to:
*Spend time with Byron (as we were mutually traumatized by the boys first day - they were troopers, though, and seem to have sweet teachers).
*Have coffee with friends (Amanda and Leigh Ann :-)) at Cuppy's, my favorite coffee shop, (on Lee Vista).
*Spend time at C3.
*Remember what "carline" is like - three times - (especially when some people in big trucks - not bigger than mine, but still bigger than the other cars waiting patiently - think they don't have to wait in line like everyone else, and speed to the front of the line putting everyone else in peril)...oh the joys of the private school mentality!...anyway, I digress...remember what carline is like!
*Get to see Kayleigh have her senior pictures taken...for 2 hours!!! - I think mine took 7 minutes! She was beautiful.
*Have a wonderful sugar-free ice cream cake, made by Diane (I didn't think this was humanly possible, she should get a Nobel peace prize!).
*Talk to my "Oma".
*NOT work out or jog, although I did take a nap instead of lunch, I just need to do that EVERY DAY!!!
*Spend a few minutes with the kids as we ate dinner AT 7:45!!!
*Read a lot of sweet thoughts and wishes from friends.
*FINALLY go to sleep...
And here we are, and I actually don't have time to be blogging, but I just wanted to say "Thanks" to everyone for making my crazy, marathon birthday worth running.
I love you all. Peace.
Sleep won't come tonight, so I went back and read some of my earlier posts labeled "peace", many of which I wrote when I couldn't sleep. One, that I wrote back in May, seemed fitting. I needed to remember other times when I needed to remember... .
Maybe after remembering, sleep will finally come. Maybe after being reminded, peace will return...
"I should be asleep. I've been awake since 5 a.m.. There are so many things on my mind. I'm just asking God to cover me in His grace and mercy tonight. I know it's all I need, although my mind tells me I need to figure everything out by myself. I know I need to spend less time thinking and more time waiting. 'Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. We will wait upon the Lord - You are the Everlasting God. You do not faint, You won't grow weary. You're the defender of the weak, You comfort those in need. You lift us up on wings like eagles.' I'd love to soar on wings like eagles, but right now I just need to be quiet and wait. Rest is not easy for a restless mind, so I'm going to be still for a while and know 'our God, You reign forever, our Hope, our Strong Deliverer.'
'I will lie down in peace and sleep for You, oh Lord, will keep me safe.' I can sleep because my God never slumbers.
As a child, I memorized many Psalms, and although I rarely remember the exact reference or wording, God is always faithful to bring what I need to my rememberence - no more, no less.
I think it's Psalm 121 that says something like: 'I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills - From whence cometh my help? - My help cometh from the Lord. - The Lord watches over [me] - the sun shall not smite [me] by day nor the moon by night - He who watches [me] does not slumber - He who watches over Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps.'
Now I will lie down in peace and sleep for 'joy comes in the morning...' Selah!"
I will lie down in peace.
Selah.
Another Sunday...
Today was a good day for us at C3 - you could feel the anticipation of all that's coming.
Personally, I woke up feeling incredibly old. I asked Darrell if their was a mandatory retirement age for the Praise Team...because I'm sure I'm getting close!
I walked/jogged tonight, and smelled the dryer sheets (former post) which almost distracted me from my agony. Almost, but not quite. I did jog more than last time, so I guess I'm making progress.
Tomorrow will be a CRAZY manic monday with the kids starting school (two different schools), time at the office, and Kayleigh has senior pictures (that's gonna really help with the "I'm feeling old" stage I'm in!). Plus, I get to be reminded that I'm getting closer to 40, and the clock is ticking...(in a weak moment, I vowed to be "buff by forty" - I'm just going to chalk-it-up to delirium from one of Byron's work-outs.)
So, it's off to bed because 5:30 will be here before I know it. I wonder when the "early to bed, early to rise - and LIKE IT" phase of old age is gonna kick in??!!!
See ya with the sunrise (figuratively speaking, of course - no one wants to see me first thing in the a.m. when I have to get up early - it's not pretty!).
Peace. (Is it bad that I can't feel my arms?)
I can't believe it's already five 0'clock on Saturday. The weekend is drifting away - and of course, tomorrow will go by like a whirlwind.
Laundry has ruled my day, since next week will be filled with carpooling and C3 stuff. The future is so bright for us at C3, but the next year, especially, is going to be CRAZY busy.
I feel like the fall is going to be "boot camp", and after the holidays begins the battle - when we have to bring the heat! We're breaking free to be C3, but it's going to require everything we've got to fulfill the vision we've been given. It can be overwhelming, but it's also an awesome thing...and a humbling one as well. It's going to take everything we've got, and still require the movement of God.
I woke up this morning in an optimistic mood - kind of a silly one, actually. I looked at Byron, and he had a grin on his face. So when I asked him why he was smiling, he just looked up and said, "God is smiling on me, and it's gonna be a good day." After further discussion, it became clear that "God smiling" was my good mood. So, I said, "Let me get this straight, the determining factor of the quality of your day is me?" and he replied, "Since the beginning of time." This kind of stinks for him, since I'm a bohemian, moody, melancholy/sanguine, artistic type with a flair for the dramatic...oh well, at least he has today!
We organized the school supplies cabinets, two junk drawers, and did some filing, so next week will run a little more smoothly than normal. It's amazing how it's harder for me to find things after I organize than before. I think my "chaotic random piles" system just make sense to me somehow.
I found the most beautiful purple "fainting couch" and zebra print rug on the web last night...I guess I just wasn't ever meant to be a minimalist! I think they would kick me out of Denmark (former post) - maybe it's because I'm a Czechoslovakian/Cherokee at heart!
Gotta run, laundry-duty for six calls! Peace out.
*High School Musical 2 has taken over my life!!! We've been on a countdown clock all day - and I've never even seen the first one!
*When did I fall in love with modern furniture from Denmark? Confession: I had to ask Byron what furniture from Denmark would be called - I did have the sense to know that "Denmarkian" didn't sound quite right! (He said "Danish", and I looked it up on the Wide World of Web, and he was right), but I digress...When did I fall in love with modern Danish furniture? I especially LOVE "BoConcepts"...it's the bomb! (It's awesomely Denmarkian!)
*I love clean laundry - I love when I take a walk around the neighborhood in the evening and the smell of people's dryers and dryer sheets fills the air!
*I think we should live every day like we are in the cast of a musical, and break into song every time we're trying to make a dramatic statement. I think there would be a lot less conflict if everyone had to sing, "I'm so mad at you...You really hurt my feelings...You really need to learn how to drive..." Things like that wouldn't have the same "bite" if you had to sing and dance while yelling at someone!. Just a thought.
*We went to "meet the teacher" at the boys new school today - Ethan said that Nate's class was "better" because his classroom had brownies! It will also have long division, so Ethan - and I - will feel more comfortable in the first grade class. There aren't enough erasers in the world for me to do long division...Okay, I just had a little shudder thinking about it!
*Apparently, the slang term for a sweet ride is "whip" - Something tells me the Bledsoe Family Bus wouldn't be in the "whips" category. Just trying to keep it real.
*Speaking of "keeping it real" - there's nothing like buying cheap toilet paper in bulk from Wal-mart...it doesn't get any "realer" than that!
*Birthday cake just tastes better when it has your name on it!
Peace and dryer sheet dreams to you all!
I'm a hurricane watcher. I, like many Floridians, am fascinated by these storms and the fact that now you can watch them approaching (24/7) and can obsess about which path they will take.
This year is different, though. Two of my obsessions are colliding - obsessing over possible hurricane landfalls and being "prepared" (I can make a "home" out of matresses, water bottles and peanut butter in 28 minutes - or less!), and the horrific thought that I could lose internet connection - not just for moments, but for days!!!
So, I asked Byron if we could get a battery-powered charger for my laptop, he said that we could, but it wouldn't help if we lost power. Apparently, the cable is somehow "married" to the electricity!!! I thought those electricity people were SMART. So then I asked if we could get a honkin' generator that would power the cable lines...He said, "No, honey, we can't." (He said this with a kind of deflated voice - like he's resigned himself to my "view of earth") - He knows he'll have to explain this to me again...because He knows that everything looks different
...from La-La Land!
Peace out, for now.
It's always good to remember the blessings and opportunities that are in store for those who are faithful to follow Christ in the journey of change. Imagine the possibilities, and don't lose hope. Keep the faith! Peace.
Byron and I have two "Barrys" in our lives: Barry Leathers (C3 Executive Pastor, and he and Amanda are some of our closest friends), and Barry Oser (Kayleigh's boyfriend and "like a son" to us). Ironically, both of them posted the same YouTube video around the same period of time, and had a similar take on it. You can check out their blogs about this video here and here.
Of course this video was moving to me - and I draw my own analogies from it as well. It just depends on the day as to which "character" I identify with the most. Many days, I can relate to the baby water buffalo: the enemy will try to "pick me off", isolate me from sources of protection, strength and encouragement, and pull me to pieces. Other days, I feel like the powerful buffalo that knocks the crouching lions into the air and won't back down no matter what comes (these days are more rare).
Then some days, I can identify best with the on-lookers who watch in helpless horror as the scene unfolds - knowing that the lions are behaving like lions - with their cunning ability to sense weakness and attack when you're at your weakest point, and the crocodiles are doing the same - looking out for their own appetites - not making the initial attack, but wanting to benefit from the struggle.
One of the most profound aspects of this video, for me, was the fact that the herd of buffalo never give up on the baby - even when it seems certain that there was no hope of survival - even when all seems lost, they won't leave the fallen one behind. They seem to understand that they are only as strong as their weakest "member" - and if they don't fight back, they will lose more and more of themselves to the enemy.
Of course, we can relate to this: as Christ-followers, in the ministry, as members of a unique community of faith like C3 Church...
We have to "have each other's backs"; otherwise, we can be picked-off, torn to pieces, and left for dead spiritually, emotionally and in all the important areas of life. I thank God that Byron and I KNOW that there are other honkin' "buffalo" in our lives that come hell or high water, have our backs - often at great personal sacrifice.
We are the buffalo - and we're not going to give up the fight until all the people who have felt disenfranchised by the church, outside of the grace of God, and disillusioned by "religion" hear that they've not been left...the herd is coming and the "lions" and "crocs" will have to have their appetites for destruction filled another day. The herd is circling...FAIR WARNING.
Love is the movement - Peace out.
I was reminded last night that tomorrow (today, now) is Wednesday - so, I need to "do" Happy Wednesday. But, I'm getting ready to walk out the door (school and doctors appointments), so I'll have to do a real post later.
So, until then, "Happy Wednesday!" (Amanda). And I hope whatever I write later will make you smile and not depress you at all. Don't even give a moments thought to the death and destruction all around us, global warming, rising political unrest, or the imminent approach of hurricanes...
That stuff will still be "looming" tomorrow - so today, just be happy - it's Wednesday, after all, and that surely is enough!
Peace out.
Tomorrow it all begins...the girls go back to school. Actually, they start out at school, and then leave for a 3 day retreat. And then, on Monday, the boys start - and the wheels of the school-year begin to turn. It's hard to believe the summer's over - and this has been a longer summer than usual.
So, now the fall officially begins, at least for me. It's going to be strange to not have the boys in the same building - between homeschooling and our church's school, I've always had at least some of my children close-by. This year's definitely going to be different.
Last year was filled with change, and I'm sure this year will be, in some ways, even more so. I have tried to envision how it will be - new offices, having services in the theater, my boys in public school, both the girls in high school (with Kayleigh graduating at the end of this year!)...so much change, but a lot of it exciting to me.
I've never really been one to struggle with change, even a lot of it. I changed schools more than ten times between kindergarten and graduation, so I had to learn to change. Still, I've never dealt with change more, in my lifetime, than I did last year. It was so profound, that I know that it changed me.
I do look at life differently now. I see people in a different way. I don't assume that many things will be the same tomorrow as they are today. I don't take for granted that just because someone is in my life now that they automatically will be tomorrow. I expect change. I understand that not everyone can handle the pressure of an "anything for the cause" lifestyle. I try not to expect too much or too little - I just have to keep my eyes focused, no matter what changes God allows to come into my life...no matter what.
I used to hear that leadership is lonely, and my idealistic side couldn't accept that as true. I'm too much of an extrovert for that to be true of me...but, it is true. It was a hard lesson to learn - that "holding on" is sometimes not an option, but - especially in a leadership role - it's a luxury that can't be afforded.
So, I look forward to the changes that will be coming this year - I really do. Change can be awesome. It can also be frightening - but, even scary things can lead to wonderful additions to our lives (like childbirth...four times!). I look forward to meeting people who have newly discovered God's grace. I look forward to watching fellow Christ-followers discover their passions, and how to use them fully. I look forward to seeing children excited about church and the love of Jesus. And I look forward to feeling myself embrace change, because I know it will change me and make me more like Christ - No matter what.
Peace.
I love new school supplies - I always have. When I take the plastic wrap off of a new package of loose-leaf paper, I just stare at the clean white sheets, mesmerized - I think it's lovely! And a newly sharpened pencil is glorious. Maybe it's because I'm a poet, or because I'm an idealist - I love things that are clean, fresh and new...
I used to love the beginning of school and the fall - although I grew up here in Florida and the fall here never quite looked like the fall on T.V...But in my mind, it did! New clothes, new friends, clean school-supplies, and a crisp autumn breeze (okay, it was really August and 98 degrees on a hot school bus)...It was beautiful!
Now, as a parent, the process of getting ready for school is...a little more hectic - Wal-mart is a nightmare, the "lists" from the teachers often include obscure items that probably only exist in the southern tip of Madagascar, and my childhood ability to only feel the weather as it exists in my fantasies is somehow fading...maybe it's dying of heat exhaustion!
It's funny how we can remember things a certain way, even if they weren't quite that way in reality. Our perception is so wrapped up in our emotions and experiences, we can fool ourselves into believing it's a crisp fall day even in the sweltering heat of summer.
Christmas is like that for me. Even when it's sunny and 80-something outside, in my heart it's like a Thomas Kinkaide "Wintertime" painting, with smoke-filled chimneys and horse-drawn carriages...I guess because I need it to be that way. We all need a certain amount of idealism in our lives, some of us more than others - it's like hope. To imagine that things are better than reality - to see things how they could be, rather than how they really are.
I'm going to try to remember how I did that when I was a child on the hot school bus, and try to look at things around me with that same sense of hopefulness - and tonight as I "play" with my kid's school supplies, maybe I'll drink some hot chocolate and put on a sweater...
There's beauty all around us - even in unexpected things...like school supplies!
Peace.
If you know me, then you know that music moves me...
This morning, Riverdale led worship, so I was able to sing and worship without having to be in front of people - we sang many of my favorite choruses - it was awesome! Byron preached about how, at C3, we are dedicated to the truth of Scripture, and as he spoke some of the words from the choruses came back to me, like:
When he spoke of how knowing the "play-book" (Scripture) can keep us from the insecurity of not knowing what to do when life becomes difficult: "Everyone needs compassion - A love that's never failing. Let mercy fall on me."
And when he talked about how living contrary to God's truth causes us harm, like deep gashes on our soul: "Everyone needs forgiveness - The kindness of a Savior. The hope of nations."
Our attendance was up by over a hundred this morning, and as I looked around at the faces, I was reminded again of the point of it all: "So take me as you find me - all my fears and failures. Fill my life again."
And I was challenged to remember that the "C3 reality" number two: Dedicated to the truth of Scripture is worth everything I am and have to pursue: "I give my life to follow - everything I believe in. Now I surrender..."
Then, after the message, we sang: "...I may be down, but I will rise. It may be dark, but God is light." And I looked around the room and saw a church - a community of faith - singing that phrase over and over. We, at C3 church, understand the faithfulness of God, and we will rise and we will shine - And it's going to be a beautiful sight...
Peace.
It's Saturday and I have a few random thoughts:
*Cleaning my house is such a chore, I think I need to go live in a remote monastery somewhere and get rid of all my possessions - I wonder if they would have wi-fi?
*Laundry is the bain of my existence, and I have come to realize that in order for everything to be able to be put away, I need to have a delicate balance of dirty clothes, washing clothes, drying clothes, piled-on-the-couch clothes, folded clothes, and clean-in-the-drawer clothes - If this balance is disrupted by TOO MUCH CLEANING, then my whole domestic eco-system runs amuck!
*How does my microwave end up looking like a crime scene ????!!!!
*What can I possibly say about going to Wal-mart on a Saturday right before school starts when my SUV's "thermometer" registered at 116 degrees!!!!
*There was a time when I was "Pre-law" and going to be a ruthless attorney and live in a beautiful high-rise in New York with a butler and a maid...(as I tell this, you should hear classical music, and I'm speaking with a British accent)
*I'm excited about not having to sing on the platform tomorrow morning - "Riverdale" will be leading worship, so I get to sit in the congregation like a normal person!
*I'm NOT going jogging tonight because I'm getting my exercise the "don't clean my house often enough, and insist on being a pack rat, so now I gotta suffer" way today - I better lose 2-3lbs.!!!!
*Talking about cleaning my house is much more fun than doing it.
*Byron has been very sweet and helpful today - I guess I'll keep him.
*Did I already mention the whole attorney thing?...
Peace out.
Today was one of those days.
A day when there were several things on my "To Do" list that, frankly, I just wasn't looking forward to doing - some mundane, and some more urgent - things that caused the procrastinator in me to think, "Can't we do this stuff another day!?" - and in the midst of it all, knowing that I need to be productive today and not get side-tracked with drama or negativity...
I could feel myself desiring to just stay at home, behind closed doors - just give me a reason, and I'll stay in my little "nest". It's just the mood I woke up in.
I went to register the boys for school, and really didn't want to see anyone - again, it's just the mood I woke up in...
Of course, barely in the door, I saw a familiar face...but then something I didn't expect happened - I smiled, then we really recognized each other, and she jumped up and exclaimed, "Angie, give me a hug!". It was then that I realized that she was a dear family friend that I hadn't seen in years. It was so refreshing, and it lifted me. And the winds began to blow...
Then, at the end of the day, there was a "comment" on my blog from a friend I had in high school that I haven't seen in about seventeen years. We emailed back and forth this evening - again, the unexpected words of a friend were like a breath of fresh air.
So, although today I was in "one of those moods", and there were still points of negativity and drama, the healing winds of friendship blew into my day at just the right time. I'm grateful for all of you who are patient, gracious and kind as you read my little thoughts. And hopefully when you're having one of those days, you can find some encouragement in me - that's my prayer.
May you all have peace. Angie
I jogged tonight for the first time in twenty years - I waited 'til it was really dark because...well, it's been twenty years! I think this was the funniest part of this "Happy Wednesday"!
I have to go somewhere and die now...Peace.
Happy, happy Wednesday!! Peace...and laughter to you all.
So, I haven't done a "Happy Wednesday" in a long time. I don't think I remember how to be funny...
A few days ago, we were talking with some friends about random stuff and the subject of dinosaurs came up - I wasn't really paying attention until Byron asked what sound they actually make. "Do they roar?", he said. I replied, (in my defense, because I wasn't really paying attention - not because I'm a dumb blonde), "Of course they roar, you can see them at the zoo, Duh!" Apparently, I don't need to Google "Blonde Jokes" ever again - I provide my own material!
Here's one that made me smile - if you don't like it, well, don't be a hater cuz it's not easy to find short, clean blonde jokes - especially for a blonde. So, here it is:
A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this
machine while I'm still winning!"
So, there you go - and if that doesn't do it for you, then find some funny, CLEAN, and relatively short blonde jokes and send them to me in a comment - I'm sure all you brunettes out there have heard a few in your time - and you blondes, well, it kind of goes with the territory.
I've just learned to embrace my dorkiness and laugh at myself when I can - life's too short to take yourself too seriously all the time. The mean-spirited critics will 
sound-off like they do, so take some of the "teeth" out by laughing at yourself first - there's a lot of freedom in knowing that I don't have to be "perfect" all the time (or ever, for that matter!).
It's Wednesday, and we have another day to enjoy, so, I hope you enjoy it and LAUGH as much
as possible.
Peace.
How do you know if someone's truly your friend? Having teenage daughters and, well, just being alive, causes this question to arise frequently.
Desiring to be wise about who I take into my confidence requires that I am discerning when it comes to my close circle of friends -
So, if I really want to know about someone, I should look at who they count as their close friends - who do they spend the most time with, listen to, confide in...this is a good gauge of their true attitudes, interests, passions, etc.
There have been times in my life when I've ignored the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship, always to my detriment. Things like:
*My friend talks critically about EVERYONE to me, but I "assume" he/she will NEVER talk about me to everyone else.
*Many of my friend's friends talk trash about me, but I'm SURE he/she defends me...after all, he/she knows me and would always give me the benefit of the doubt.
*My friend seems only concerned about his/her comfort and reputation with no regard for mine, but I'm sure they would be loyal if the "chips were really down".
*My friend seems very concerned about what others think about him/her, but I'm sure if they HAD to make a choice they would choose what's right over what's popular!
*My friend has known me longer/better than those who gossip about me, so I'm sure he/she would not believe gossip without talking to me.
The list could go on, but every time I ignore the "signs" and rely upon assumptions, I allow myself to stay in a toxic friendship - which eventually leads to desiring the approval of someone who doesn't edify me in my "walk". This can become a distraction which leads to discouragement and eventually to disobedience. God desires for me to be wise and not live in denial. Boundaries are very difficult to put in place, but absolutely necessary for healthy relationships.
So, how can we know if someone's a "true friend"? Well, the first place to start is to look at your friend's circle of friends - if you have to put your guard up and bite your tongue every time you're in the presence of this "circle", it's probably not a healthy place for you to be. And, although we are called to treat everyone with the love and grace of God, we have to "lay aside every hindrance" in the race of life - and toxic relationships have to be at the top of the list.
I'm reminded of one of my favorite bits of wisdom from Maya Angelou: "When somone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!"
Be empowered by the fact that friendship is a choice, and sometimes it's best to "choose to lose" - in fact, close friendships are rare and should be chosen carefully and refined. If a friend is not loyal and true during the good times, he/she will more than likely abandon you in the times when you need them the most. We can save that job for those who aren't so close...it hurts a lot less.
Knowing who your true friends are is a gift, wondering is torture - life is too short to wonder. Refine your list and find the freedom in knowing who you can turn to - it saves a lot of heartache and lets you "run" with the freedom God intended!
And remember there is "a friend who sticks closer than a brother"...and even if He's the only one who makes the list, you'll be fine.
Peace.
It feels like my early days of blogging when I would often blog more than once in a single day, but I've had a fever today, so I've not done much. I'm giving myself today to get better - tomorrow there's too much to do to be sick...so, needless to say, I've done a lot of thinking today.
I've always had a weak immune system - if I get stressed or upset, my body seems to shut-down and just stop working well. I've prayed about this and tried to put things in place to keep from getting run down...but, that and being a pastor's wife/mother of four doesn't seem to go hand in hand. So, I've kind of learned to look at it as a constant reminder to rule out the bad (bad food, bad influences, bad relationships) and increase the peace.
So, tomorrow morning I'm hoping for a normal temp' so Byron and I can get out for a long walk, put in some time at the office, then maybe "Whole Foods" for some healthy stuff so I'm not tempted to eat junk when dinner rolls around. I've got to plan ahead to make the most out of my days, so there are less like today when not much got done. The kids go back to school soon, so I want to spend some time with them before they're out of the house all day.
Byron and I got an email about our 20 year high school reunion today, so I've thought a lot about what I thought my life would be like verses what it is like - in some ways it's so hard to believe it's been that long, but so much has happened during those years that it also seems like it must have been longer. I guess everyone feels like that about the passage of time...
It goes by and I'm learning more every day that I have to make the most of each day because I will never get this day back.
"Redeem the time, because the days are evil" - That's the awesome thing about the grace of God - each day that He gives us is a day that He has bought back or redeemed for us so that we can live for Him.
Time is a wonderful gift - I don't want to waste it. Peace.
I always feel at home on the water - maybe because I was a "summer baby", and maybe because I learned to swim before I could walk (literally). Water has always had a calming, "centering" effect on me, and our day on the lake in the Ozark mountains was especially memorable.
We spent the whole day on a 30,000 acre spring-fed lake in between the mountains. We climbed to the top of rocks to jump off. We found a tiny island to explore. And we laughed and swam and acted like children. It was awesome!
It had been too long since I forgot to be a "grown-up" and just jumped off a cliff without thinking twice. It was exhilarating and relaxing at the same time!
So, now it's back to the "real world" - and I feel like Peter Pan trying not to grow up and forget the magical powers of thinking like a child...it can fade if we don't choose to NOT FORGET...to remember how to fly. Do you remember what it felt like?
Don't forget - and if you're starting to, then JUMP OUT OF THE BOAT!!! :-)
Come on in, the water's fine...Peace.
The sun is going down on another Sunday...
I was moving slow this morning - looking forward to being back at C3 with everyone, but not feeling very well...so, moving slow. I was scheduled to sing "All for Love", but I could feel my voice fading - so I just prayed for the voice to get through that one song.
Seeing the people worshipping God always gives me strength, so I made it through the song sets, and was encouraged by the smiles and voices of everyone praising God: "The Enemy has been defeated - Death couldn't hold You down - We're gonna lift our voice in victory - We're gonna make Your praises loud..."
So we "shouted unto God with a voice of triumph", and for a little while all the heaviness and burdens of the journey faded away...there was only the sound of praise... and the love.
And I was reminded that He is always faithful to give us what we need...not always what we want, but always what we need. I wanted to sing with a strong voice, but He allowed me to have to totally rely on Him because I couldn't do it on my own - and at the end of the day, that's the best place to be. To be reminded that I can't do it on my own is an awesome thing. It's also very freeing to let go.
Letting go has been a hard-learned lesson for me this year. I've wrestled so much with just letting "His will be done", but there's freedom in the sacrifice, and there's peace in embracing the fact that the presence of pain, struggle, and even grief doesn't mean that He's abandoned me like others do - He's still there working and growing me. So, letting go and being still in his mercy gets me further than all of my efforts - the rescuing comes after the surrender...
So, it was another good day - another day to live, to love, to give, and to serve...weak voice and all...for His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and His breath is all I need to keep singing - even if He's the only One who can hear me.
Remember: "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord!"
Live strong!! Peace.
How does He want us to live?
Like uninspired followers of an ordinary way?
Like unforgiving zealots of a target never reached?
Like selfish children fighting to be "teacher's pet"?
Like bullies or like priests?
How should we live to represent Him well?
Should we not live like we are:
Seasoned runners with our eyes fixed on Jesus as our only prize...
One grace-blessed beggar sharing newly found bread with another...
Forgiven ones who see others as:
The future joy of heaven
The lost lamb for whom He has searched
His most treasured creation and expression of love
The reason for His life, His ministry, His death...
How does He want us to live?
He wants us to love abundantly, give unsparingly, pray unceasingly.
He wants us to give, to dance, and to sing - all in His name...
He wants us to run...like there's no tomorrow...run like everything depends on the passing of the baton...run with our head back and eyes focused on the prize.
We must live, love, give, and run...and the "great cloud of witnesses" is always there cheering us on.
Because the face of heaven will be determined by how well we run, how much we give, how often we tell...
For how will they hear if we do not tell them, and how will they know if we don't show the way...
How does He want us to live?
Our human minds cannot fathom the depths of His desires for us, but it is not for us to waste much time in contemplation, but rather to:
Go, do, love, give, dance, sing, rejoice, weep, comfort, forgive, embrace, and...RUN.
For tomorrow could very well find us on the other side with no more miles to give to the journey. And then we will have only what we made of today to offer at His feet.
So, let us make the most of the miles, and add one more to heaven's number.
While there's still time, let us run!
I don't really have anything to blog about tonight. Of course, I have plenty of thoughts, and even more words, but I don't really feel like putting them together in an organized way...
What others have written today says it better than could: Leigh Ann, Travis and Byron have all blogged about the things that have been on my mind - not consuming my thoughts because getting four kids ready for the school year can really occupy a person's time, but they have given a voice to some of my own thoughts...
So, I would direct you to their blogs since I can't seem to put my thoughts in order enough to do them justice, and I don't really have to, since others have done it so well for me.
All I'll say is:
*I thank God for His great love and mercy
*I thank God for a husband who is not swayed by the criticisms of men or the accolades of the religious
*I thank God for a church leadership team that is brave and trustworthy
*I thank God for the "remnant" at C3 who has changed the face of heaven through their love and sacrifice
*I thank God for friends who stick closer than brothers
*I thank God for children who walk in truth
And, I thank God for the ultimate Truth: that His Gospel is bigger than the plans of men and stronger than the Evil One. That His love is the only answer. That we are blessed to carry His message - though our hands and feet be unworthy and worn-out in the delivery. He makes our scars trophies to His grace and our feet beautiful in His sight. And we are blessed to carry out His will.
We are blessed. I am blessed, and I thank God for all of these things for I know where they come from...
So, tonight, I thank God that I have the writings of others to express what's on my heart and mind. But, I also thank Him because He already knows...and He knows the truth about C3 and what it means to so many. It's about love, after all, and...
LOVE WINS! PEACE.
So, being home is kind of weird...after traveling so much. There wasn't a schedule, really, but every day was full of trying to make the most our time. Of course then, the night before we were supposed to leave to come home, Byron got a call that his grandfather had passed away...so, we headed back to Texas instead of coming home. The visitation-funeral-graveside was a two-day affair - the graveside was at the Bledsoe Family cemetery (I got to see where I will be buried!) which was three hours away from the funeral - so we traveled about 7 hours on that day, then began our 16 hour trip home the next. In some ways, I feel like we spent a lot of our vacation just trying to get somewhere.
Maybe that's an analogy for my life - especially lately - I spend so much time and energy just trying to get somewhere, that sometimes I have little time to enjoy where I am and those around me along for the ride.
We have been trying to get the kid's rooms (mainly the boy's) organized and junk-free before the next school year begins - throwing away broken toys, finishing projects in their rooms that we started when we moved-in but have since put on the "back burner", and the clock is ticking again for all that will take place in the fall...But, as we work, organize, de-clutter, etc...I'm trying to enjoy my kids and Byron. I want to make the most of the time because it goes so quickly...It doesn't take a funeral to remind me of that.
And I know it's working because as I was wiping down the kitchen counter, going through boxes of outgrown clothes, and throwing away broken toys (all at once - I'm A.D.D., remember!), Nate, my ten year old, stopped me and gave me a kiss and said, "I love you, Mommy."
So, I've been reminded again that these days, though hectic and sometimes mundane, won't last forever...they blow away like the autumn leaves...So, I will cherish them and save them in my heart and mind for the days when life is much quieter and more boring...
Because the journey is the destination, after all!
Love someone today! Peace.
By the way, for some reason my blog only allows comments if you click on the TITLE. Also, if you want to see what others have commented you have to do the same thing - I'm not sure why this is, but oh well. Look forward to hearing from you - sorry it's HIGH MAINTENANCE (Okay, no comments about how fitting that is!). Peace.
The scenery in the mountains was breathtaking, and since my current obsession is photography (although my skill level hardly warrants the title "photography"), I had to take pictures of absolutely EVERYTHING. My family (and the other captive audience members) got used to seeing me jump out of the car on a steep overhang or nearly get hit by a trolley-car just to get the perfect shot of a perfect purple flower.
And if the scenery was great during the day, it was even better at dusk and dawn. The cabin was three stories with two balconies, so I tried to get up early and absorb the dawn (some morning "dawn" was literal - on others it was very figurative. In my world, dawn is more of a state of mind, like happiness). But one thing I noticed is that the beauty of dusk and dawn is very similar. When you're enjoying the dim tranquility of either one and absorbed in the peacefulness of being still in the wonder of God's creation, it's difficult to remember whether the sun is coming up or going down.
Recently, I was looking at photographs on the "wide world of web", and this struck me then, too - I noticed that the picture entitled "Swiss Mountains at Dawn" and "Sunset in Switzerland" looked very much alike - both breathtaking, of course!
The past year has been full of many things - some seemingly wonderful, and others won't be remembered fondly. As I spent time reflecting on all God has allowed into my life - things that brought happiness and grief - I realized that everything can work together for my good (the "goings" down and the "comings" up), that I can still bask in the dim tranquility of all God is doing around me even the colors created by the art of pain.
So, whether it's twilight or a new day dawning, I will praise the Artist - "...the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away - Blessed be the name of the Lord!"
P.S. Thanks for still reading though my blogs have been few and far between this past month. I pray for all of you to find true peace from the True Peacemaker. It's a long and winding road (sometimes requiring a little Bonine), but it is definitely the way to travel. Thanks for sharing it with me...
Peace.
If you really want to "get away", then the Ozarks are a great place to start. Mountain Time just moves at a different pace, it definitely takes some getting used to. Byron and I needed to be forced to rest, sit and not run around in the "rat race" of every day life in the ministry.
It's funny, though, that when you become used to the hectic pace of city-life, the slower pace of the country can be less relaxing until you give up your need for instant gratification. Nothing happens quickly in the mountains, even driving takes longer when you're winding around steep mountain roads (and having to take Bonine just to go to the laundry-mat).
I've gotta run - because now I'm home in the city, and the "rat race" has missed me.
Peace.
At the end of the mission-work portion of IMAC, the kids/counselors really stepped-up and made an additional tangible difference in a family's life. They took up an "offering" for one of the homes that had significant damage, and raised money to replace their ceiling fan. Because of their sacrificial generosity, Byron decided to add to their gift, and we were able to get the fan and many other items to help Miss Fanny, and her three great-grandchildren be a little more comfortable in the Texas heat. Again, C3 and the name of Christ were represented well, and we all were reminded to appreciate the blessings that we have - like air conditioning!
After the work was done, we took the party to Dallas. Texas Stadium was our first stop, then Six Flags, then Fellowship Church of Grapevine for Sunday morning church. Although everyone was exhausted after their labor and lack of sleep, the group had a great time unwinding in the big "D"!
There are many other photos - some of which I have added to prior posts (my "Blackberry Blogs") in order to fill in some of the blanks.
It was awesome, and it's also awesome to be home. I'm looking forward to getting back into a routine, gearing up for the fall, and getting back to C3! Peace.
Many of the C3 youth and adults went to Beaumont, Texas to be a part of IMAC - a youth camp/mission trip. During the days, they were working in homes that still had damage from hurricane Rita. In the Southeast Texas heat and humidity, they all worked tirelessly to help others less fortunate than they are - they represented C3 and Christ well, and Byron and I are very proud.
Today is a great day mainly because ten years ago our Nate The Great was born. We've been celebrating all day in our cabin in the mountains.
Byron, the kids and I, Byron's parents, Barry O. and Adam make this quite a full house, but we're having fun. Byron and I had great fun hanging-out at the local laundry-mat for a couple of hours this morning washing laundry for eight.
We spent a few hours downtown Eureka Springs, and then came home to bake birthday cake which didn't turn out quite right (Ethan asked me if it's because I'm not a very good cook...I didn't answer, just changed the subject). Then, some of us were traumatized by the presence of a racoon at the back glass door - names won't be mentioned.
So,now I'm finally getting to spend some time blogging, although still on my phone.
My next blog (after my fingers get a rest) will be about all that God did at IMAC student camp last week - it was awesome.
Byron's cleaning the kitchen, and I really need to help, at least to salvage my self-esteem in the domestic domain...if I can't cook, the least I can do is clean...
I love this cabin, I love these mountains, I love that my son is still not too old to crawl in bed with us in the morning to tell us about his dream. I thank God for all of His blessings - like blessing us with our very own Nate the Great! Happy Birthday, Buddy!
We are currently driving through a rainstorm somewhere in Oklahoma - we have eight people in our Excursion, so to say it's crowded would be an understatement, but everyone's being a trooper.
This week in TX was awesome, and I took a bazillion pictures which I hope to post as soon as I have access to high speed wireless again. I'm definitely going through Internet withdrawals - thank goodness for Blackberry technology! Fellowship Church was great, but of course we missed being at C3.
So now we're headed to Arkansas - I wonder if I'll get wi-fi there? Anyway, I hope the mountains are ready for us 'cuz we're coming like a Mack truck! Peace.
I've only got a few minutes of internet access before I go back to the church here in Texas to make dinner for the kids (IMAC - C3 youth mission trip). It's been a long hard day for the kids and counselors, after a 19 hour bus ride. Last night and this morning we had awesome services led by Robbie Robision and Travis Conrad with music by "Riverdale". Then today the group broke up into teams to do hurricane repair work in some homes around Beaumont. The work is grueling and it's VERY HOT! We are making sure they are all drinking lots of water and Gatorade - they are all working hard and well-representing Christ and C3. I know the people who have been living in these damaged homes will be thankful for their labors. I've been taking lots of pictures and will post them ASAP. Everyone is well, but tired and we are all looking forward to what God is going to do tonight in the service! More info will follow as I often as I can get to a computer. Pray for us! Peace.
So blogging from a Blackberry on the road somewhere on I-10 is not easy. This is definitely going to shorten the length of my blog (and the people cheered...). But, at least I have neglected my nails, and they are very short - I'm really rethinking the importance of proper punctuation and grammar though! I also didn't realize how many long words I use. I need to get dumber if this is going to be workable at all! I don't know how Kayleigh and Ashley text messege so fast - I guess it's all about motivation! That's all I've got for now - my fingers are exhausted (like I can't just say "tired"? - I've got to change my ways!!). Peace!
We've driven into the night, and now I'm exhausted but wanted to re-cap the day:
I woke up this morning feeling not very rested, and knowing there were "miles to go before we sleep..."
But the minute I got to church and saw the beautiful room with a bazillion candles burning (the set design I like to call "Christian Gothic"), I began to unwind a little bit and focus on the morning...
We began the service with several baptisms, as usual, the majority being adults. We've seen a trend that way, and the coolest part is that the entire family almost always ends up coming know God also...
There is just something about an acoustic set that calm you - usually our music is quite...energetic, but today we planned it to be more...restful. The opening of an acoustic duet and scripture passages on the screen was lovely, and just what I needed...
The message was about "rest" and the passage was the 23rd Psalm (in the Message version it's particularly lovely). ...
Following the message was another music set. For the final song we re-introduced a song that we sang for the first time last Sunday. When we got to the chorus, Darrell decided to let the congregation sing - so he pulled his mic down. What happened next was phenomenal - the congregation was singing so loudly (a new song they had just learned) that it caused Darrell to become emotional...of course, then I had to drop my mic. But the people kept singing!...
We just stood there and worshiped God by listening to his people sing "Oh no, You never let go - through the calm and through the storm..." It was fantastic, and we really got to feel the Spirit of God through the voices of His people...and they know it's true. They could sing that song passionately because C3 is a church who has come through the fire and the storm...
This morning, the people lifting their voices so strongly reminded me that we have survived to be a testimony of the grace and power of God - a power that cannot be quieted by men...
I was also reminded that God's rest doesn't have anything to do with my circumstances, in the Psalm David says "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" (death is looming over, and casting it's shadows around me). So, God, the Shepherd, is leading to green pastures right through the Valley!: Finding rest in God is not about my where I am, but Whose I am....
Thanks for reminding me, C3! "...If my God is with me, whom then shall I fear!"
Peace.
Today is Byron's birthday.
I've shared twenty birthday's with him now, and I can honestly say that I've never known anyone who has used their years in a more productive way in the areas of change and growth. He is continually on the move - moving in the direction of hope. Someone once said that when someone is singularly focused on something, to where it becomes almost an obsession, then they function "south of normal", well, that applies to Byron in his obsession with following Christ, only it causes him to live..."North of Normal"!
So, Happy Birthday, Baby. You've been a wonderful husband and father, leader and friend - and I look forward to watching you make the most of the next twenty birthdays...I know you're headed further North!
Love and blessings to you. Love, Angie.
It's somewhat ironic that we begin a series at C3 tomorrow about how to "Rest in God" - today has been one of those days when I've felt like I've been on a treadmill set on "high" and it won't stop...my little candle is feeling a little wind-blown tonight, and now I'm trying to wind down so that I can get prepared to sleep and rest for all that will take place in the morning. I believe it will be a beautiful service - the platform "set" is beautiful and tranquil, and the music set is beautiful and inspiring. And Byron is preaching from the 23rd Psalm - beautiful. To me, the reoccurring theme is the beauty of God's rest - the kind that only He can provide. I need that tonight, my mind is racing will all of the things still left to do. My heart is heavy for the thought of some friends who won't be there, and excited for the new friends I will make as they discover the love and mercy of God.
(By the way, tomorrow also happens to be Byron's birthday - I won't say how old he'll be, but he IS one year closer to the big 4-0!)
So, tonight, I'm listening to Enya (my favorite is "May it Be" from the Lord of the Rings), and I'm choosing to focus on the beautiful aspects of the love and mercy of a God, my God of Rest - because He hears, He knows - all of our difficulties, dreams, fears - He knows and He sees. So, I can rest in Him and all of His Beauty...and sleep in peace, dreaming of all of the hearts He will touch and change with His Beauty tomorrow...
"May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home
Mornië utúlië
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië
A promise lives within you now
May it be the shadow's call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun
Mornië utúlië
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië
A promise lives within you now
A promise lives within you now" (Enya "May it Be")
And even on days like today when I feel like a candle in the wind, I can rest in His shelter, and experience the Beautiful Rest of God...and the wind doesn't feel quite so strong. May it be that you rest in Him as well.
His Peace.
So I know I have 24 hours in a day, just like everyone else. But some days those 24 represent a lot more accomplishments than others. Today definitely won't go down in the books as a stellar day for checking-off my "To Do" list. I haven't been feeling very well for the past few days, so I've mostly been watching Byron work (he's redecorating our bedroom - I've been telling him that he's like a much, much more masculine Christopher Lowell). I've got a list of things to get done before we leave that's a mile long, only I don't feel up to it.
When I was younger, and Byron traveled in evangelism, I literally could pack for a two-week trip (with three kids - and two of them home-schooled) in two hours.
Not these days. I guess I'm hoping for a second-wind (or, in this case, a first wind) so I can get everything done that has to be done.
Someone asked me recently why I blog. I guess it's a good question, although I've never really thought about why. There are many reasons: because I love to write, because it's therapeutic to express myself in a healthy way, because I feel some responsibility to others to let them into my journey, because, in some way, I feel like I was born to do this...
But, more importantly, there are a few reasons that are NOT "why" I blog:
*it's not to just journal (I could buy a notebook for that), although my own personal thoughts and feelings drive the subject matter, it's not just about a journal of my day.
*it's not to make other women feel intimidated or inadequate as I list my domestic or spiritual achievements (I am neither Martha Stewart nor Beth Moore - as you know if you read my blogs...ever!)
*it's not to "get back" at others who've hurt or offended me - in fact, this blog has really been a caveat for reflection and growth in my life in the area of forgiveness ("what I don't deal with, I become")
*it's not to point out my personal frustrations with any individual just to "get it off my chest", but rather I desire to use my observations to facilitate change
*it's not to complain or rant about other's shortcomings, but rather to address issues that I deal with - especially as it relates to being a woman - as these things come into my life, I process them, and look to Christ and His word for how to deal with them, then I can pass along what I'm learning in the struggle and journey
The reasons why I blog are evolving all the time - like, hopefully, I am (not in the Darwin-way, but in the Jesus-way).
I certainly hope my words have been a source of encouragement to you. Of course, how you "hear" what I say is also dependent upon your own state of mind and heart (if you read with an agenda...well, all flows through that filter). Please read through the filter of love and grace, for that truly is the spirit in which I try to write - even when I write challenging things (it always challenges me first).
I'm just one pilgrim on a journey, and if I can encourage you in the race, then I'll keep on blogging...and you keep on running. Don't give up, ever!
Hebrew 12(MSG):
1-3Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!
It's all about the journey, because the journey IS the destination!
Peace.
I've not been feeling well today.
So unlike many, many others (you know who you are), I'm going to blog twice in one day. My friend Leigh Ann told a funny story about her daughter not "liking Jesus" because of how scary he looks in the "Passion" book of photos.
I understand this.
Maybe because I think like a four year old, and maybe because, although without the brutality of how Christ died I wouldn't have hope, sometimes - like tonight - I need to think of Jesus laughing. I need to know that, in Him, there is such overwhelming joy - even in sorrow or illness - that he couldn't help but laugh. And because of his great love for all of us, which many times caused him to weep, he found such joy and happiness in just watching us and in being with us.
I also think that if we could show the world the many sides of Jesus - his love and sacrifice, his justice and grace, his tears and his laughter - maybe they would be more drawn to him instead of reacting to our often poor imitation of a one-dimensional somber God with no joy or sense of humor. He created us with all of our dramatic, hilarious, crazy and fun-loving propensities. He offers life to the fullest, in that must be joy and even hilarious laughter.
So tonight I'm going to think of the things that just must make God chuckle or even laugh out loud. I don't really know what makes God laugh, but it can't be that different than what makes us laugh (except for our own bloopers - since God has none), I especially think he enjoys watching us enjoy his creation:
For example:
* a baby giggling at nothing at all
* a puppy barking at a reflection of himself
* an elderly couple reminiscing
* the inside jokes of best friends
* a surprise party that really works
* a really good practical joke that really works
* a married couple finally able to laugh at their "crazy" family members
* a million little things that make us laugh every day
* a person who learns the freedom of laughing at herself - because she doesn't have a clue how to be...a pastor's wife, for instance.
I believe Jesus laughed often. I need to believe it tonight. I'm going to find a way to laugh out loud tonight, and all I need to do is look around to find something to smile about. It's all about perspective.
I hope you laugh tonight, and every day...I believe it makes God smile.
Peace (and hilarious laughter) to you.
July is going to be a hard month for the blogger in me.
It feels like no one blogs and no one reads.
So this morning I was looking at my analytics report for the month, and of course, my views are at an all-time low since I began blogging.
Then I began to notice the shading on my "map overview" - As of this morning, when Australia was shaded-in for the first time, every continent is represented in viewing my little blog. It makes the world seem huge and so small all at the same time.
So, welcome Australia! And Hello, world!! Thanks for making me not feel so alone in my little corner of the world on this day after a national holiday when it feels like "no one blogs and no one reads".
I did watch fire-works last night (at the Loper's new town-home), they were beautiful, and I kept my word and I did remember all of the sacrifices others have made so that I could watch fireworks in the rain (with no umbrella). The fireworks were lovely, and being with friends and family was lovely too.
It truly is a small world when you have friends in every continent. Thanks for reminding me. Hello from my little corner of this small, yet vast, world...
Peace.
Happy Wednesday!
Of course, today I'm thinking a lot about freedom and independence.
Earlier this week, we spent some time at my grandmother's house. We let the kids swim, and had lunch. She made "Schenkinfleckel", a German noodle and ham dish that I love, but should avoid if I'm trying to watch my diet...(I didn't, though - Oh well!).
My grandfather was a sergeant/major in the army during WWII. He was a West Virginian, who grew up during the Depression (similar to the "Walton's"), a country-boy who was part Cherokee Indian - so, very well suited to be a tough army "Sarge". During the war, his "command" ended up in a little German town where they set up their headquarters in the largest house in town. There he met a beautiful German girl named Johanna.
After his troop was transferred, Johanna had to escape in the night because the Nazis were coming to "take them away" - her father was known in town as a big business man, and it was rumored that her mother was a Jew. Her father died of a heart attack as he was being taken away, but the rest of the family made their escape in the night. Of course, through all of this the "Sarge" and Johanna lost contact because they had no way to find out where the other had ended up.
Johanna finally arrived at a safe house where they knew of the American army man, and they were able to get a message to him. Johanna and the sergeant were married shortly after this at an army base, and she came to America with nothing but a few treasures she was able to hide from the Nazis as she crossed over the boarder into Switzerland (much like "The Sound of Music").
The sergeant and his German sweetheart had three daughters: Eloise (Elli), Johanna (Joey), and Dorothy (Dottie), and Joey had four daughters of which I am the oldest. So, my little German grandmother is Johanna who escaped so many years ago, so that now she can make us all "Schenkinfleckel" and her wonderful braided bread - which I discovered recently is exactly like "Challah" a Jewish bread...so, now when I eat it, or make it myself, I feel connected again to my great-grandmother who had to hide her identity so many years ago just to stay alive.
So, because of the strength and courage of my grandparents, I'm here today, able to spend the morning with my kids - able to have a leisurely "Fourth of July" cleaning my house and preparing to go on vacation...not anything like having to leave all of your possessions in the middle of the night, or fighting in a war as a young soldier in a foreign land. I have the opportunity to do the many things that bring me so much joy - even worshiping God - because of their sacrifice.
So, Independence Day really resonates for me. And I know there are others being strong and courageous even as I type, so that we can even celebrate a day such as this. To say I'm grateful would be an understatement, but I am. I am a multi-cultural sold-out Christ-follower with a flair for the dramatic who has the ability to express my opinions and hopes and dreams, all because of FREEDOM and SACRIFICE.
I am so thankful for these blessings. It's Independence Day, and tonight as I see the fireworks explode, I will remember...and think of all of those who've gone before me who've paid for my freedom. It's a beautiful thing!
Happy Wednesday, and happy, happy Independence Day!
Frieden. (German)
Dohiyi. (Cherokee)
Shalom. (Hebrew)
Peace.
