The Remains of the Day

I woke up with a severe pinched nerve in my neck.

I couldn't raise my head off the pillow.

I couldn't go to C3.

I can't really type since I can't hold my head up.

I have a lot of thoughts running around in my head, but it hurts too bad to type them.

So, I'll blog more when I can. I'm having withdrawals from blogging. But, at least I don't have to work out or jog today.

I heard this morning was awesome...I'm so sad I missed it.

I have to be better by tomorrow morning.

I think the Advil bottle shouldn't have such a wimpy dosage limit.

I need to dust the ceiling fan.

My bedroom decor could use an animal print...probably leopard.

Sonny's banana pudding should be listed as an addictive controlled substance.

If I were on the show "Making the Band" and I had to jog five miles to be chosen...oh well!!!!

Peace out for now.

The Remains of the Day

Another Sunday...

Today was a good day for us at C3 - you could feel the anticipation of all that's coming.

Personally, I woke up feeling incredibly old. I asked Darrell if their was a mandatory retirement age for the Praise Team...because I'm sure I'm getting close!

I walked/jogged tonight, and smelled the dryer sheets (former post) which almost distracted me from my agony. Almost, but not quite. I did jog more than last time, so I guess I'm making progress.

Tomorrow will be a CRAZY manic monday with the kids starting school (two different schools), time at the office, and Kayleigh has senior pictures (that's gonna really help with the "I'm feeling old" stage I'm in!). Plus, I get to be reminded that I'm getting closer to 40, and the clock is ticking...(in a weak moment, I vowed to be "buff by forty" - I'm just going to chalk-it-up to delirium from one of Byron's work-outs.)

So, it's off to bed because 5:30 will be here before I know it. I wonder when the "early to bed, early to rise - and LIKE IT" phase of old age is gonna kick in??!!!

See ya with the sunrise (figuratively speaking, of course - no one wants to see me first thing in the a.m. when I have to get up early - it's not pretty!).

Peace. (Is it bad that I can't feel my arms?)

The Remains of the Day

If you know me, then you know that music moves me...

This morning, Riverdale led worship, so I was able to sing and worship without having to be in front of people - we sang many of my favorite choruses - it was awesome! Byron preached about how, at C3, we are dedicated to the truth of Scripture, and as he spoke some of the words from the choruses came back to me, like:

When he spoke of how knowing the "play-book" (Scripture) can keep us from the insecurity of not knowing what to do when life becomes difficult: "Everyone needs compassion - A love that's never failing. Let mercy fall on me."

And when he talked about how living contrary to God's truth causes us harm, like deep gashes on our soul: "Everyone needs forgiveness - The kindness of a Savior. The hope of nations."

Our attendance was up by over a hundred this morning, and as I looked around at the faces, I was reminded again of the point of it all: "So take me as you find me - all my fears and failures. Fill my life again."

And I was challenged to remember that the "C3 reality" number two: Dedicated to the truth of Scripture is worth everything I am and have to pursue: "I give my life to follow - everything I believe in. Now I surrender..."

Then, after the message, we sang: "...I may be down, but I will rise. It may be dark, but God is light." And I looked around the room and saw a church - a community of faith - singing that phrase over and over. We, at C3 church, understand the faithfulness of God, and we will rise and we will shine - And it's going to be a beautiful sight...

Peace.

The Remains of the Day

The sun is going down on another Sunday...
I was moving slow this morning - looking forward to being back at C3 with everyone, but not feeling very well...so, moving slow. I was scheduled to sing "All for Love", but I could feel my voice fading - so I just prayed for the voice to get through that one song.
Seeing the people worshipping God always gives me strength, so I made it through the song sets, and was encouraged by the smiles and voices of everyone praising God: "The Enemy has been defeated - Death couldn't hold You down - We're gonna lift our voice in victory - We're gonna make Your praises loud..."

So we "shouted unto God with a voice of triumph", and for a little while all the heaviness and burdens of the journey faded away...there was only the sound of praise... and the love.

And I was reminded that He is always faithful to give us what we need...not always what we want, but always what we need. I wanted to sing with a strong voice, but He allowed me to have to totally rely on Him because I couldn't do it on my own - and at the end of the day, that's the best place to be. To be reminded that I can't do it on my own is an awesome thing. It's also very freeing to let go.

Letting go has been a hard-learned lesson for me this year. I've wrestled so much with just letting "His will be done", but there's freedom in the sacrifice, and there's peace in embracing the fact that the presence of pain, struggle, and even grief doesn't mean that He's abandoned me like others do - He's still there working and growing me. So, letting go and being still in his mercy gets me further than all of my efforts - the rescuing comes after the surrender...

So, it was another good day - another day to live, to love, to give, and to serve...weak voice and all...for His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and His breath is all I need to keep singing - even if He's the only One who can hear me.

Remember: "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord!"

Live strong!! Peace.

The Remains of the Day

We've driven into the night, and now I'm exhausted but wanted to re-cap the day:

I woke up this morning feeling not very rested, and knowing there were "miles to go before we sleep..."

But the minute I got to church and saw the beautiful room with a bazillion candles burning (the set design I like to call "Christian Gothic"), I began to unwind a little bit and focus on the morning...

We began the service with several baptisms, as usual, the majority being adults. We've seen a trend that way, and the coolest part is that the entire family almost always ends up coming know God also...

There is just something about an acoustic set that calm you - usually our music is quite...energetic, but today we planned it to be more...restful. The opening of an acoustic duet and scripture passages on the screen was lovely, and just what I needed...

The message was about "rest" and the passage was the 23rd Psalm (in the Message version it's particularly lovely). ...

Following the message was another music set. For the final song we re-introduced a song that we sang for the first time last Sunday. When we got to the chorus, Darrell decided to let the congregation sing - so he pulled his mic down. What happened next was phenomenal - the congregation was singing so loudly (a new song they had just learned) that it caused Darrell to become emotional...of course, then I had to drop my mic. But the people kept singing!...

We just stood there and worshiped God by listening to his people sing "Oh no, You never let go - through the calm and through the storm..." It was fantastic, and we really got to feel the Spirit of God through the voices of His people...and they know it's true. They could sing that song passionately because C3 is a church who has come through the fire and the storm...

This morning, the people lifting their voices so strongly reminded me that we have survived to be a testimony of the grace and power of God - a power that cannot be quieted by men...

I was also reminded that God's rest doesn't have anything to do with my circumstances, in the Psalm David says "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" (death is looming over, and casting it's shadows around me). So, God, the Shepherd, is leading to green pastures right through the Valley!: Finding rest in God is not about my where I am, but Whose I am....

Thanks for reminding me, C3! "...If my God is with me, whom then shall I fear!"

Peace.

Candle in the Wind...

It's somewhat ironic that we begin a series at C3 tomorrow about how to "Rest in God" - today has been one of those days when I've felt like I've been on a treadmill set on "high" and it won't stop...my little candle is feeling a little wind-blown tonight, and now I'm trying to wind down so that I can get prepared to sleep and rest for all that will take place in the morning. I believe it will be a beautiful service - the platform "set" is beautiful and tranquil, and the music set is beautiful and inspiring. And Byron is preaching from the 23rd Psalm - beautiful. To me, the reoccurring theme is the beauty of God's rest - the kind that only He can provide. I need that tonight, my mind is racing will all of the things still left to do. My heart is heavy for the thought of some friends who won't be there, and excited for the new friends I will make as they discover the love and mercy of God.

(By the way, tomorrow also happens to be Byron's birthday - I won't say how old he'll be, but he IS one year closer to the big 4-0!)

So, tonight, I'm listening to Enya (my favorite is "May it Be" from the Lord of the Rings), and I'm choosing to focus on the beautiful aspects of the love and mercy of a God, my God of Rest - because He hears, He knows - all of our difficulties, dreams, fears - He knows and He sees. So, I can rest in Him and all of His Beauty...and sleep in peace, dreaming of all of the hearts He will touch and change with His Beauty tomorrow...

"May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornië utúlië
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadow's call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornië utúlië
Believe and you will find your way

Mornië alantië
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now" (Enya "May it Be")


And even on days like today when I feel like a candle in the wind, I can rest in His shelter, and experience the Beautiful Rest of God...and the wind doesn't feel quite so strong. May it be that you rest in Him as well.

His Peace.

The Remains of the Day...

Another Sunday has come and gone. This one was packed with good things:

*Although, I was particularly tired during our a.m. band practice (mainly due to my husband putting me through a sadistic Bowflex/elliptical workout the day before wherein I had to put my head between my knees to keep from passing out), the worship sets were filled with passion and energy, and the congregation responded with the same spirit.

*Byron's message about our real Enemy: Satan, was profound in it's doctrine, yet so practical that it caused all of us to reflect on who we allow to get the power in the limited time we have left on this earth - are we wasting our seconds or utilizing them to their full potential. Plus, I learned that Byron is going to live until 2057 (according to Deathclock.com), so I say, "Why kill ourselves with grueling workouts - if your gonna live that long anyway?"

*It was good to see the faces of people I've never seen before, great to see returning and increasingly more familiar faces, and awesome to see friends who ARE friends - like aloe for the soul...(see "Sunburns").

*Happy Birthday, Monica! And welcome home Travis and Sandi!

*We had a good lunch with great friends. (mine was healthy and nutritious!)

*We got a long nap - a couple of hours. WONDERFUL!!!!

*We took the boys to Barnes&Noble to get a new book, get Starbucks, and catch-up on our blog-reading.

*I was reminded again today of how much I love books - new books, old books - I love the way they look. I love the way they smell even... I think I'm gonna hang-out there more often, and try to find my library card...

*Reading the blogs of the other staff wives and women in the church, the past few days, has made me so thankful to have such strong and faithful women in my life. The honesty and insight I'm hearing from them is inspiring. It fills me with hope...

So, today was a great day, and I'm tired - but it's the good kind of tired - Tomorrow I get to go back to the splash-park with some of my "girls" - it's for the children (they are our future, you know - just doing my part).

Now, I have to go to sleep - Byron tells me my muscles need proper rest to repair, so we can break them down, to build them back...blah, blah, blah...(see what I'm dealing with - I need an intervention!).

Good night - Peace.